Vietnamese proverb has a sentence “Nhap gia tuy tuc, nhap giang tuy khuc” (when going into someone’s house, we must depend on that family’s custom, and when going into a river, we must depend on its sections). The friends arriving from outside of Vietnam should know Vietnamese custom to fall in line with them easily. One of their important customs is marriage. Vietnamese people consider marriage is one of three things requesting a lot of effort in human life (making career, building house, getting married). This opinion expresses in the proverb sentence: “Tậu trâu lấy vợ làm nhà, trong ba việc ấy thật là khó thay!” (Buying buffalo, getting wife, making house, what difficult three those things!). Any country has its own way to organize wedding, either Vietnam does. Vietnamese wedding is one of the most important parts in Vietnam’s rich culture.
In the past, Vietnamese wedding consists of six ceremonies, which are very complicate so that it hasn’t been suitable for modern people. Today, the Vietnamese wedding has become simpler, it reduces into three ceremonies. In recent days, wedding is organized not only traditionally but also modernly.
The current Vietnamese marriage consists of three ceremonies: Dam Ngo, An Hoi, An Cuoi (coming to gate, engagement , wedding).
Before carrying out Dam Ngo Ceremony, the groom’s family comes to the bride’s house to get acquainted with them. They will discuss about the marriage of the couple. The bride’s family should accept the request of groom’s family about organize next ceremonies.
After having the agreement of the bride and her family, the groom’s family carries out Dam Ngo Ceremony. Two families discuss about An Hoi Ceremony. The groom’s family suggests the time to organize An Hoi Ceremony, Cuoi Ceremony and the betrothal gifts that the groom’s family would offer to the bride and her family. The bride’s family has a right to show their idea.
Friends come to celebrate on Vietnamese wedding day
After Dam Ngo Ceremony, An Hoi Ceremony is hold. This one is organized very solemnly, especially at the bride’s house. Before An Hoi Ceremony one day, the bride’s family decorates the house beautifully. The front gate has a board written phase “LE DINH HON” (engagement ceremony). Before coming to the bride’s family, the groom’s family prepares betrothal gifts carefully to offer the girl, her ancestors and family members. Offerings consist of jewels, betel, areca fruits, alcohol, tea, cakes, fruits and a roasted pig. All must be good looking and good quality. In front of the bride’s house, the groom’s family must stand in one line to go. The first person of the line is an old man – host of groom’s family carrying an alcohol tray, followings are the groom and other men carrying offering trays. The ceremony conducts as follows:
– The man carrying alcohol tray goes straight into the house and stand in front of the middle table. Next, he pours some alcohol and informs that groom’s family arrives.
-Allowed by the bride’s family, the delegation goes into the house.
-The ceremony master pours alcohol and submits the ceremony going into a house.
-The two sides introduce participating members.
– The groom’s family submits betrothal gift.
-The two sides worship the ancestor.
The ceremonies and the betrothal gifts offer the girl a big honor. On this opportunity, the pair of boy and girl are recognized as a wife and a groom, and the bride and groom call mother-in-law and father- in-law mum and dad.
After the ceremony finishes, the bride’s family invites the groom’s family to attend a party. They eat, drink, talk and laugh happily. During everybody enjoys the party, the musical group and amateurs serve ebulliently.
-Finally, the groom’s family conducts the replying ceremony.
After An Hoi Ceremony is Cuoi Ceremony (wedding Ceremony). This one is also organized very solemnly, especially groom’s family. This Ceremony tells everybody that the bride and the groom are officially wife and groom.
Before Cuoi Ceremony happens, the two sides decorate houses beautifully. The bride’s family has a board with words “LE VU QUY” (A Ceremony seeing off a bride back her groom’s house). The groom’s family has a aboard with words “LE TAN HON” (A ceremony welcoming new married pair).
Cuoi Ceremony occurs similarly with An Hoi Ceremony, but at the end of the ceremony in the bride’s family, the groom’s family asks for bringing the bride back to the groom’s house.
Back to the groom’s house, the bride’s family is welcomed warmly. The bride and the groom worship ancestor and present themselves before the groom’s family. The Cuoi Ceremony finishes here. The bride ‘s family is invited by the groom’s family for party. The party wind up, the bride’s family takes leave of the groom’s family.
Vietnamese think that they have to achieve success in three important things in their lives, those are “Tậu trâu lấy vợ làm nhà, trong ba việc ấy thật là khó thay!” (Buying buffalo, getting wife, making house, what difficult three those things!). Getting wife is big success. The groom’s family and the bride’s family have to lose a lot of effort.
Official marriage helps the wife and groom to have honor and position in two-side family. From that base, they have peace of mind in order to enjoy happiness and have duty to contribute their effort to the families and society.
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